On Simultaneously Planned Weddings

Welcome to Monday, everybody.

This weekend, a very important question struck me: When did I become a grown up? Obviously I know when I turned 18, but like… when did it become normal for me to choose to do things like laundry and cleaning and working instead of fun things? (The giant laundry pile in my bedroom begs to differ… I digress.)

On Saturday, instead of parking it on the couch to watch the last six episodes of Gossip Girl, I actively chose to sit at the kitchen table and work on some stuff. Granted, it was all personal – this blog, replying to emails, paying bills, planning Katie’s bridal shower – but still. Possibly as recent as a month ago that would not have been the logical choice for me to make. And the weird part? I liked it.

Speaking of planning Katie’s bridal shower, some people may be wondering what it’s like planning a wedding at the same time as your best friend. I definitely can’t speak for all best friends out there, because I’m sure that sometimes it is a ginormous disaster and friendships are ruined. But not in our case! Katie and I have been incredibly happy for, and supportive of each other for the last six months. Actually, for the last eleven years. (Seriously? Maybe we became grown ups somewhere in that time frame…)

Of course, when Katie and Patrick got engaged I was over the moon. Getting engaged myself was the furthest thing from my mind, and immediately I began offering to help her with whatever she needed. (Mainly, figuring out how to work Excel and create a budget, because apparently nurses never learn the extremely valuable life skill that is Microsoft Office…)

And then, my time came. I’ll admit there were some feelings of apprehension – I didn’t want Katie and Patrick to feel overshadowed. As it turns out, that was a completely illegitimate fear – she has been so happy and supportive the whole time. We just had to find a balance and set some ground rules. We really just had one golden rule – one bride at a time; one thing at a time.

This didn’t mean we couldn’t accompany each other to our dress appointments (we definitely did that). It just meant focusing on one of us at a time. Some appointments/dresses/weekends are for Katie to be the bride and find her perfect dress. Others were/are for me. Having this basic rule helped us both feel bridely and gave us each an opportunity to be a bridesMAID as well. Giving and getting support are equally important, and it would be impossible for me to give her my full attention if I was focused on ME. Planning a wedding and things like dress shopping are stressful enough already, no need to make them more so.

I’ll admit – sometimes it can be confusing and challenging. Just this weekend, Katie and I both had important things to knock off the list, and we both wanted to involve the other person. The chain of text messages is hard for even me to decipher, but what it comes down to is being flexible, supportive, and understanding.

So, while I am extremely excited to make the next moves in my planning process: bridesmaid dresses (some decisions were made this weekend, yay!), save the dates, ceremony planning… I am even MORE excited to plan and throw an awesome shower for my best friend! It’s next month, so I better get to work!

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